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Most people don’t see relationships for what they are because they’re too focused on what they need them to be. We want people to be placeholders – buffers between us and ourselves, promises that will save us from the brutal inevitability of our existence. We don’t have a healthy perception of what it means to connect and share a life with someone – even if just a portion of it – because we aren’t taught.
We don’t learn how to be grateful for what doesn’t work out, or to see everything for what it can teach us, how it can bring us closer to the people we hope to be. We think that the only good love is forever love, because what we want from love is the same thing we want from marriage and religion and an inflated sense of self-purpose: to be saved.
So we begin to…